Item not as described

January 7, 2010Jon Brooks Comments Off

Times being what they are, a lot of people have been lurking in the “Free Stuff” section on Craigslist, hoping to spend no more than some time and sweat — you almost always have to pick up the stuff and haul it away. So it’s the proverbial “win-win situation”: You get a freebie, the posters gets rid of unwanted stuff without having to schlep it to the dump.

Still, some people in Craigslist Free Stuff have been — as the British say — “taking the piss.” That is, in hopes of getting the junk off their property, they post items that only the truly desperate would want. Of course, these are desperate times, so it may be hard to distinguish any more between what may be valued and what’s completely useless to anyone.

The blog Item Not as Described, however, tries to do just that. The site features various postings of items offered for free on the Web, sent in by readers. From the About section:

There are things money can’t buy. Love. Admiration. There are also things money won’t buy. Like an old couch torn to shreds by an army of cats. It turns out that the cliché is wrong: one man’s trash is usually another man’s trash, too. The posts you see here are created by people hoping to defy the odds. To unload the un-unloadable. To recycle the worst of everything. In short, this is about optimism . . . and its tragic consequences.

Some examples:

Wicker furniture


“The rocking chair and settee are very very old.”

Blog description:
Very, very old. Like, Civil War old. In fact, I’m pretty sure this furniture fought in the Civil War. I don’t know where that hole could have come from other than the Battle of Gettysburg.

Homemade motorcycle


I have a homemade bike me and my brother built many years ago. Runs and drives but the back tire kind of rides sideways. The seat blew out a few years ago and I made do with a sofa cushion, duct tape and a couple of 2x 4’s ( the ultimate fix! ). It runs like a champ but does smoke alot especially if you are hard on the gas. Uses about a quart of oil for each gas fillup. I usually just put the oil directly in the gas as it is going to burn it anyway and that way it is easy. Can’t drive over 12 miles or so at a time as the motor gets red hot and starts loosing power so probably a good bike for someone who drives locally. Does backfire and squeel pretty loud occasionally so I usually wear earplugs of some kind. DOES NOT pass emissions so would need to be registered in a county without emissions check. Great first bike otherwise!

Blog description:
It’s the new Death Wish 1200, just in time for the 2010 model year. Illegal here in the U.S. (we’re kind of safety-crazed), but popular in Kyrgyzstan, where the “Mad Max” movies are considered reality programming. Comes with a replica of the outfit worn by Mel Gibson in “Beyond Thunderdome.” Tina Turner’s outfit is available as an option.

Old freezer


I was visiting my grandfather and he wanted to get rid of this old freezer. He used it for deer. He said it was working last time he used it, but he has since cut the chord. It is very heavy.

Blog description:
If you want your item to go from ugly to menacing, we have a pro-tip for you that this guy already knows – night photography. It makes anything scary. Anything:


See? It’s a playhouse. One that looks like it’s inhabited by a play Blair Witch.

And on it goes. Other free items pictured on the site: broken concrete, a wood shed, and a casket. Well, that last one will actually set you back $1500. Hopefully it isn’t used.

Comments are closed.