Now you can print your resume on your tee-shirt.

From damnIneedAjob.com:

The shirt costs $25 (plus $3 shipping). Add three bucks if outside the continental United States. Upon submission of this form you will be directed to PayPals secure site where you can use your PayPal account or any major credit card.

Your cover letter should be one short paragraph not exceeding 500 characters including spaces. I invite you to paste an encyclopedia into the field but it will be truncated. Keep it brief! People won’t read it if it’s too long! Carriage returns (blank lines) will also be removed. Write it as though you were submitting it formally yet generic enough that all your bases are covered. I suggest a brief description of your skills and what kind of position you are looking for. Any misspellings or grammatical errors WILL BE ON YOUR SHIRT so be careful to proof read it. I recommend doing it in a word processor like Word and utilizing it’s spell check and word count tools then copy and paste into the cover letter field. While I probably won’t, I reserve to the right to refuse submissions for whatever reason.

Making the Most of a Thin Resume.

When you’re short on experience, play up your strengths.

The Problem: Recession or not, you’re job hunting. Trouble is, aside from some internships and a few part-time gigs, the work experience section of your resume is, well, thin. You know that you could nail a job if given the chance – but with the national unemployment rate hovering around 10%, how to get a foot in the door with so little to go on?

The Solution: A resume redo. The key is highlighting your accomplishments, regardless of how you got them. Definitely include when you graduated and whatever positions you’ve held since – employers want to see that. But, also list volunteer organizations, student clubs, sports teams, or any group in which you’ve held a leadership position or made an impact. Detail projects completed, funds raised or other positive outcomes; you want to point to anything that shows your capabilities, especially if it dovetails with requirements of the job you’re going after. And, here’s a tip from executive recruiters: Describe your efforts using keywords that mirror the language in an employer’s job listing, so they can connect the dots between your skills and their position. If you’re going after a marketing associate job, for example, outline the email marketing campaign you created for your campus bookstore that led to a 10% increase in sales.

One More Thing: No matter what type of job you’re going after, be sure to include in-demand skills such as foreign languages and computer know-how – we’re talking about spreadsheets and database programs, here, not Facebook. Of course, it’s all relative. If all you can say is, “Basic Microsoft Word,” then you might not want to highlight that that’s all you know.

If You’re The Do-It-Yourself Type: You’ll have no problem revamping your resume with the help of free templates from Microsoft, About.com or other online sources – some even have those all-important keywords built in. If you need a little coaching, have a professional resume service to do it for you – though you’ll pay for the convenience. Websites such as ResumeWriters.com or Monster.com charge anywhere from $100 to $300 for a finished product that you’ll get back in two to three days. Everyone has a different resume style preference, however, and we’ve spoken to executive recruiters who think that professional resume services create resumes that are too complicated and fluffy.

Before you part with any cash, do some digging. With so many people out of work, public libraries are holding free resume writing workshops, and universities have made resume and career counseling services available to recent grads and other alumni.

Good luck!

A Job Interview that Made Me Go Hmmm…

I went through the most bizarre experience this week. I applied for a job Monday night and got an e-mail from the employer at 4 a.m. the next day asking me to call her in the morning. Unfortunately I had to work from 8:30 a.m. until 1 p.m. and I had a meeting at 1:30, which meant I wouldn’t be free until around 3 p.m. I wrote an e-mail telling her that, and she responded by telling me that she wanted to speak to me that day, and that she was busy at 3. I replied and told her I would try to call her.

I called her and left a message, she called back, but I wasn’t around to pick up the phone. Then she called again around noon and I pick up. Immediately she started interviewing. “I’m sorry,” I interrupted. “But this isn’t a good time.”

“Fine, call me back,” she answered, and abruptly ended the conversation.

I called her several times after, left messages asking to schedule a time, and nada.

Finally, when I tried calling her Friday morning, she picked up the phone.

Again, she immediately started interviewing me off the bat. The interview was pretty standard until she asked me, “What’s your astrological sign?”

“Gemini,” I replied.

As soon as she heard my answer I could tell she immediately lost interest in me, ended the interview and politely said goodbye. Is there such a thing as star sign discrimination? Is it me, or is absolutely weird that she even asked me my astrological sign?

Also, last time I checked, people scheduled interviews. I may not work full-time, but I have obligations, I can’t always drop everything without notice, so it’s more convenient to schedule a meeting time. I know it’s an employer’s market, but that was strange. Did she really expect me to drop everything?

The following is from Monday’s “All About You: Top 10 Personal Branding Tips for Students”

• Be authentic. Before you even think about your personal brand, you have to think about who you really are and what you really want. What have you accomplished so far? What are you passionate about? What are your goals? If you find it difficult to analyze yourself, ask friends or relatives to describe your best qualities and greatest achievements or take a self-assessment test online or through your college career center.
• Show your confidence. While it’s never a good idea to project arrogance, many students err on the side of self-deprecation. Even if you feel inexperienced or awkward in professional situations, never make fun of yourself or put yourself down. If you project confidence and comfort with yourself, others will be comfortable with you.
• Dress for success. Make sure your personal appearance matches the image you want to project. Find out what kind of clothes are appropriate for your desired industry and invest in the best you can reasonably afford. When in doubt, err on the side of formality. A great strategy is to have one or two reliable, high-quality outfits that are appropriate for a job interview or professional event and keep them clean and pressed at all times.
• Build a professional online image. Everyone is Googling everyone else these days, so be vigilant about your online identity. Even if your social network settings are tight, take down any photos of partying, drinking or “unprofessional” behavior just in case. Then, enhance your brand online by creating a strong profile and becoming active on LinkedIn, the professional social network.
• Reassess your personal brand regularly. Your experience, ideas and ambitions are going to evolve as your career develops, so make sure your personal brand is keeping up. Just as you should regularly update your resume, remember to regularly revisit your self-introduction, wardrobe, online profi les and other elements of your personal brand every few months. Be flexible. “Brand You” is always a dynamic work in progress.
• Imagine stepping into an elevator in a downtown office building. As the doors close, the person standing next to you says, “Hi, I’m a recruiter at your dream company. Tell me about yourself.” Are you prepared for an opportunity like this? Could you concisely introduce yourself, your background and your career aspirations in the time of a quick elevator ride—30 seconds or less? “Elevator pitch” is a popular term for the basic introduction of who you are and what you’re looking for. It can be used in a variety of professional situations such as networking events, career fairs, cover letters and formal interviews.

These are from Thursday’s “Top 10 Online Branding Tips for Students”

• Google yourself. Google your own name and make sure the results reflect the image you want to project. If you don’t show up in search results or you don’t like what appears, create one or two professional social networking profiles and post bylined content in your school newspaper or a club or association website.
• Email impeccably. Email is a very important component of your online image. Since this is likely the primary way you’ll interact with networking contacts and potential employers, make sure you always communicate in writing like the professional you want to become. Answer all emails within 24 hours and use proper grammar, spelling, capitalization and professional etiquette at all times, even if you’re responding from your BlackBerry or iPhone.
• Make sure your social networking profiles are rated PG. According to a 2009 CareerBuilder survey, 45% of employers admit to using social network scouting for applicants as part of the employment process. Would you be comfortable with a recruiter or other professional looking at any of the content you’ve posted online? If not, change it.
• Become an active user of LinkedIn. LinkedIn is the largest professional social network, so you need to be part of it. Set up a complete profi le including keywords a recruiter might use to fi nd someone like you. Then connect with everyone you know by uploading your email contacts to see who’s active on LinkedIn. Next, join groups (starting with your college alumni group) to build your connections and visibility.
• Tweet. While Twitter, the micro-blogging site seems frivolous to some, to others it has led to job offers and much more. Twitter is a great resource for following industry leaders, career experts and recruiters tweeting out real job opportunities. Follow people you admire, and then jump into the conversation on topics related to your professional interests or personal passions.
• Bring offline relationships online. Spend 30 minutes a week sending a few “hello” emails to people you haven’t spoken to in a while—former classmates, internship colleagues, family friends, etc. Ask your connections if there is anything you can do to help them, and update them on your news or career goals.
• Share your professional status. A great way to stay on other people’s radar screens and further build your personal brand is to update your status on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter at least once a week with some career-related news. Tell people about events you’re attending, major projects you’ve completed, professional books you’re reading, successes you’re celebrating or any other news that you would tell someone at a networking reception or on a quick catch-up phone call.
• Get some online bylines. Review books on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com or comment on news articles and blogs related to your industry or interests. Sharing your point of view (as long as it’s appropriate!) is a terrific form of networking and brand building. Note that for maximum exposure you should register to post any articles, comments or reviews with your real name and not a username.
• Add links to your email signature. Once you’ve built up a professional online presence, make sure you don’t get lost in cyberspace; you have to direct people to find you. Include a link to your favorite pieces of online content or the URL of your LinkedIn, Google or Twitter profi le in the signature line at the bottom of your email messages.
• Stay diligent about your online presence. Just like the web itself, your online image is a never-ending work in progress. While you don’t have to monitor your online identity minute-to-minute, you should check in on your virtual self regularly. Set up a Google alert on your own name (including any misspellings or nicknames). This is particularly important before you venture out on an informational interview or formal job interview, when others are more likely to be checking you out online.

Click here for the full program, which also includes tips and exercises on building relationships and career momentum.

From the blog Acute Unemployment Syndrome, a post called Recruiters gone wild. The writer is an unemployed MBA.

For those of you keeping score at home, I have now been on 10 job interviews in the last 9 months. 10 at bats, and 10 strike outs. What’s bothering me, though, is what I’ve observed on my last 3 interviews, all of which have occurred in the last month.

Recruiters seem to be playing some kind of weird head game where they don’t ask any questions and force me, the interviewee, to ask all the questions. So the interview goes something like this:

Recruiter: (Leans back in his chair, takes a sip of coffee, and picks up a short stack of papers from the table) Ok, let me take a look at your resume. (He scans the piece of paper and hums the “Pina Colada” song. He puts the papers on the table after a moment and again leans back in his chair, smugly.) So, do you have any questions for me?

Me: (Our hero looks slightly startled. She looks down at her her pink boucle jacket with the black trim, hoping to find the answer somewhere in the fabric.) Oh, ok. (She hastily looks down at the list of 4 questions she prepared for the END of the interview.) Well, what are the challenges facing your company today, and how would I, as a product manager, work to confront those challenges?

Recruiter: Blah blah, canned corporate crap, blah, yada yada. What else?

Me: Uhhh, can you tell me more about the new XYZ product line? I saw that you mentioned it on Twitter. (Crosses fingers that her intrepid investigatory skills will be rewarded.)

Recruiter: (Does not appear impressed that our hero obviously spent 3 hours this morning preparing for this 15 minute chat). It’s a new product we’re working on for our younger customers. We think it’s going to be huge. What else?

This bullcrap will go on for the next 10 minutes – I ask questions about the position, he gives me curt answers, and I get increasingly uncomfortable while he gets increasingly hostile. One interviewer actually told me at the beginning of an interview, in a confrontational tone of voice, that I obviously wasn’t qualified for the job, and that it was a waste of time to speak to me. Uh, ok, so why did you bring me in???? I don’t recall holding a gun to anyone’s head just to get an interview (though maybe that’s something to keep in mind for the future).

Why are recruiters playing head games with me? I feel like everyone’s in on some kind of joke, and I’m the only one who doesn’t get the punchline. Empirical evidence and common sense say that the best way to interview a candidate is to ask what they would do in a given scenario. Or to find out what they have done in the past, given a set of circumstances. How can you find out what kind of worker I am if you never ask me to define what kind of worker I am? And what is the purpose of bringing in a candidate, only to be hostile and unpleasant to them? What will you learn from that?

I think recruiters are mostly people who couldn’t get real jobs doing valuable stuff like marketing, financing, and waxing stripper poles. So they’re destined to make a lot of poor choices. And given the current glut of job candidates, recruiters are drunk with power and are abusing their positions. Well I have only one thing to say to that: Do you think they would give me a job if I promised to wash their car for a year?

Will my high level connections overcome a DUI?

I have a friend pretty high up at a major company (in sales) who had recently talked to me about submitting my resume for employment. I had to gently remind this very good friend of mine that I have 2 DUIs, but both are over 5 years old. I have since cleaned up my act and hardly ever drink at all. I certainly don’t drink and drive! She then took that information and asked her co-workers whether or not I’d have a shot at the position. They for obvious reasons told her that with so many viable candidates with clean records, why would they choose me?

But there’s a twist…One of my other good friend’s fathers happens to be a Senior VP with this very company. He was an ex cabinet member and has worked as a Senior VP for this company for around 6-7 years now. Needless to say, he has influence.

In your opinion, would this Senior VP be able to bypass “the rules” written or unwritten, with a letter of recommendation? Or am I still dead in the water? I doubt you can answer this question with certainty, so again, I am just looking for your opinion. I am qualified for this job otherwise and know I would be risk worth taking. My friend obviously feels the same or she would have never mentioned it in the first place. I am worried that my past in this regard has caught up to me and might prevent me from getting a job I really want.

RESPONSE FROM EVIL HR LADY

Everyone has undoubtedly heard the phrase, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” There are certainly many cases where this is true, but usually you have to both know the right people and the right things.

So, in short, yes, a Sr. VP could pull strings and get you preferential treatment, and probably guarantee you a job. But, I can’t see why he would want to.

You see, while VPs can pull strings, they can’t pull them in a cost free way. If he does this, someone will owe him (or he’ll use up his credit on someone else owing him). Usually, getting a qualified person a job would be low cost expenditure for your average Sr. VP. But, you have a big black mark next to you that increases the cost to him tremendously.

The problem with sales is that you are expected to drive around all day. Your car becomes your office, which means the company is liable for your actions while you are in the car. Unless it would be illegal to consider a 5 year old DUI, I would fight tooth and nail to keep you from getting a job which puts the company at so much risk.

I know you say you don’t drink and drive any more, but there is no way for the company to know that. For all they know you just haven’t gotten caught. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

If you were the VPs daughter, then maybe he’d try. But, for a daughter’s friend, I doubt he would want to use up his capital and put his career on the line for you. Let’s say you get hired and you get into a car accident. Even if it is 100% not your fault, it’s going to come back and look bad on him.

Now, I don’t know what the laws are in your state regarding how convictions can be considered. If they would require the conviction to be ignored, then go out and get the job on your own. Without the big black mark on your record Mr. VP could probably (and more willingly) put a good word for you.

But, if they can consider it, I would think a company (and any VP who suggested it) foolish to put someone with two DUIs in a company car. So, yeah, I think this is where your past catches up with you.

RESPONSE FROM A READER

Yes,the DUI/DWI will adversely affect your hiring prospects. Remember, HR stands for “human RESOURCES” not “HUMAN Relations”. You are nothing but an expendable fixed-cost asset to them.

However, my one-and-only lifetime legal mistake nearly 7 years ago did not hamper me from going into a lower wage non-driving arena to survive. It won’t matter what level of advanced education, references, or sterling work history you have: a felon will get more “forgiveness” (oops–the F word in our nation…) than a misdemeanor DUI, unless you are a “celebrity”. Here is the rub: it’s your life, not the Darwinian Capitalist System’s. Do what you must to survive, STOP ALCOHOL USE COMPLETELY, live a straight-edge lifestyle (sXe on the web) and never give up. HR will always want to find a fault in you…they are like accountants searching for the missing penny, Theory X managers all-the-way.

As time goes by, your new sXe, clean health & fitness lifestyle will eventually put you back into the professional driver’s seat without the need for any crutches like alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.

Believe me, I may be bitter (obviously…), but I have been completely clean sXe for 7 years: something most HR reps can’t match. You can do it and turn out better than those who get bailed out from their “unforgivable” mistakes.

Who was your favorite manager and why?

What kind of personality do you work best with and why?

Why do you want this job?

Where would you like to be in your career five years from now?

Tell me about your proudest achievement.

If you were at a business lunch and you ordered a rare steak and they brought it to you well done, what would you do?

If I were to give you this salary you requested but let you write your job description for the next year, what would it say?

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? (Answer here)

How would you go about establishing your credibility quickly with the team?

There’s no right or wrong answer, but if you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?

How would you feel about working for someone who knows less than you?

What’s your ideal company?

What attracted you to this company?

What do you look for in terms of culture — structured or entrepreneurial?

Give examples of ideas you’ve had or implemented.

What kind of car do you drive?

Tell me about a time where you had to deal with conflict on the job.

What magazines do you subscribe to?

Why should we hire you?

What did you like least about your last job?

What do you think of your previous boss?

How do you think I rate as an interviewer?

Do you have any questions for me?

When were you most satisfied in your job?

What can you do for us that other candidates can’t?

What are three positive things your last boss would say about you?

What negative thing would your last boss say about you?

If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?

What salary are you seeking?

What’s your salary history?

How do you want to improve yourself in the next year?

What do you know about this industry?

What do you know about our company?

How long will it take for you to make a significant contribution?

Are you willing to relocate?

What was the last project you headed up, and what was its outcome?

Give me an example of a time that you felt you went above and beyond the call of duty at work.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Can you describe a time when your work was criticized?

Have you ever been on a team where someone was not pulling their own weight? How did you handle it?

What is your personal mission statement?

Tell me about a time when you had to give someone difficult feedback. How did you handle it?

What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it?

What irritates you about other people, and how do you deal with it?

What is your greatest fear?

What do you see yourself doing within the first 30 days of this job?

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned in school?

What three character traits would your friends use to describe you?

What will you miss about your present/last job?

If you were interviewing someone for this position, what traits would you look for?

List five words that describe your character.

What is your greatest achievement outside of work?

Sell me this pencil.

If I were your supervisor and asked you to do something that you disagreed with, what would you do?

Do you think a leader should be feared or liked?

What’s the most difficult decision you’ve made in the last two years?

The hospitality, business services, retail, defense, health care, telecommunications, and banking verticals are the top industries currently hiring based on a survey of active job advertisements from the nations’ leading job boards…

Total Job Openings by direct advertisers (recruiters & staffing companies not included):

1. Pizza Hut
2. IBM
3. Blockbuster
4. Sears, Roebuck and Co.
5. U.S. Army
6. HCR ManorCare
7. AT&T
8. JPMorgan Chase
9. Petco
10. Kmart Corporation
11. UnitedHealth Group
12. Amedisys Home Health Services
13. Accenture
14. General Dynamics
15. T-Mobile
16. Raytheon
17. Gentiva Health Services
18. Verizon Wireless
19. Booz Allen
20. Deloitte
21. Snap-on Tools
22. PNC
23. Aflac
24. Genesis Healthcare
25. DaVita
26. Marriott
27. SAIC
28. Wells Fargo
29. Bank of America
30. Centra Healthcare Solutions
31. Hilton Hotels
32. Hgi Healthcare
33. Adventist Health System
34. Combined Insurance
35. RadioShack Sales
36. Fifth Third Bank
37. Kindred Healthcare
38. Aegis Therapies
39. InsphereIS
40. Quest Diagnostics

Full post here.