March 3, 2009

March 3, 2010

Fast food is not only recession-proof, it’s recession-enabled. From an AP news story last year, during the heart of the downturn:

But no matter what your financial situation, you might want to think twice (or thrice) before you use fast food as a way to stretch your budget. Why? Well take, for instance, Nonna’s Happy Meal Blog, from Baby Bites, an ezine for parents of picky eaters. Nonna purchased a Happy Meal in 2009 to “see if the claim that (it) will last for years is true.” Selected entries from this year-long relationship below:

March 3, 2009

My newly purchased Happy Meal smells yummy and it’s very colorful. I receive a PetShop virtual pet dog in a yellow plastic doggie carry-case, along with my child-size hamburger, small fries, and a soft drink. On one side of the cardboard box the meal comes in are cutouts for a pet shop window and door. What little girl wouldn’t absolutely love it? The boy’s side of the box has a Spider-Man scene. The Spider-Man side states, “Meet the spectacular Spider-Man in McWorld at HappyMeal.com and go on your own superhero adventure!” WOW what fun. As colorful as my Happy Meal is, the food is mostly colorless. French fries are made from starchy white potatoes and a hockey puck-size brown hamburger is served on a mini-white-bread bun. There’s no lettuce, cheese, or otherwise healthful topping, just a dab of ketchup and a slice of pickle.

March 4

Happy Meal greets me as I walk into my office this morning. It’s perched on a shelf behind my desk and there is a faint smell of French fries as I enter the room. My husband is concerned about the odor. I ask, “What do ya mean?” After all it smells yummy. He says, “What about when it putrefies, decomposes, and turns rancid?” I answer, “That’s the point of my experiment. It’s NOT supposed to decompose, only a natural food would do that! If it does, I’ll move it into a glass container, to control any unpleasant smell. Then, I’ll have more to report.

March 5

Day three, my cheery Happy Meal’s yummy smell is hardly noticeable as I come into my office. I can’t help but think about the hidden ingredient in much of McDonalds’ food. It’s even in their fries …MSG. MSG is an excitotoxin, which over-stimulate brain cells to the point that they die. Many people experience headaches when this occurs. MSG is an excitatory neuro-transmitter or “excitotoxin.” Excitotoxins are chemical transmitters allowing brain cells to communicate. Unfortunately, excitotoxins over-stimulate your brain cells and they die. It’s a toxic substance. As you would guess, children are most at risk from ingesting MSG in Happy Meals. It can pass the blood brain barrier and even the placental barrier, affecting unborn children. Morgan Spurlock, from the movie SuperSize Me, experienced extreme headaches on his McDonald’s diet. In his movie and book, he says his health team was at a loss for the reason. It’s a shame they missed the connection to MSG.

March 6

YIKES, I’m becoming a regular McDonalds’ costumer! Yes, I went back there today and purchased a second tiny hamburger. Yesterday, I realized my experiment hamburger had ketchup and a slice of pickle on it. I was afraid these two toppings would alter the result, so I went back and purchased a PLAIN tiny burger. It cost me another 89 cents, plus 6 cents tax. Now, I have a control burger without toppings, albeit three days fresher. While I was there, I checked out what it would cost to purchase a small order of fries: $1, plus 7 cents tax. That means that the FOOD and PAPER portion of my original Happy Meal cost me $2.02 and the toy $1.00.

March 8

It’s day five, and somehow I don’t feel consoled by McDonald’s website reassurances: “McDonald’s offers a range of menu options to help meet your family’s nutrition needs. When it comes to eating with your kids at McDonald’s, you can feel good knowing that our Happy Meals and Mighty Kids Meals contain important nutrients that growing kids need. Many of the foods we serve at McDonald’s are the same trusted brands you might purchase for your family at your local grocery store.

My Happy Meal looks pretty much the same as the day I purchased it. The only difference I can tell is the ketchup and the pickle are being absorbed into the mini-white bun. Of course, the plain burger I purchased looks the same, so do the fries. If this were real food, there should be some decomposition…

Could the lack of decomposition be because of trans fat? I thought McDonalds said they no longer use trans fat, but according to the McDonlds website their French fries are prepared in hydrogenated soybean oil, corn oil, or canola oil. Any hydrogenated oil is a trans fat!…

March 10

Today, is day 7. My Happy Meal still looks happy. The fries haven’t changed a bit, although the French fry smell is faint. The hamburger itself looks like it did on day one. The ketchup and slice of pickle have dried. The mini-white bun is now hard and has split. If you look closely at my original photo at the top of this blog, you can see a vertical crease in the bun. It looked as if it had been squished or bent before the patty was placed on it. The split is in the crease. (My second PLAIN Burger, purchased three days after is still perfect.)

March 16

My Happy Meal is 12 days old. I’m taking it off my shelf, just for a little peek to see how it’s doing. Ya’d think that there would be some sort of decomposition going on by now. I don’t see any…nope none at all. My Happy Meal still looks perky.

March 19

It’s too bad that even in the midst of the recession, parents are finding the financial wherewithal to keep their kids supplied with Happy Meals. February’s sales were up 5.4 percent above last year. January’s global comparable sales leaped 7.1 percent. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if parents cooked whole foods at home? Not only would they save during these tight financial times, but their kids would be healthier, too.

March 31

I’m taking my Happy Meal on its first field trip. It’s going to be my show-and-tell for tonight’s presentation to preschool moms in Littleton, Colorado. No one will believe my Happy Meal is one day shy of four week’s old! It looks as good as it did on day one.

April 29

Since I began this blog, I’ve written another post about Monosodium Glutamate. MSG is a common ingredient in McDonald’s food. Click Here to read “Hidden Toxin in Food.” Unappetizing as it is, my Happy Meal is just as perky as the day I bought it, nearly two months ago!

December 14

I wish I could say that my Happy Meal has changed in some way. But it looks pretty much the same nine months after I purchased it. The bread is crusty. That’s all!

March 3, 2010 – Happy birthday to my Happy Meal

I know it’s hard to believe. Time flies, doesn’t it? My eyes tear when I think today, March 3, is my Happy Meal’s first birthday. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

I purchased a Happy Meal, not to eat, but to observe and blog about. Yes, I bought a Happy Meal and then placed it on my office shelf, right behind me and my computer. It sat on my shelf for a year as a silent witness to our fast food industry.

It smelled delicious for a few days. I’d get a whiff of those yummy French fries every time I walked into my office. After a week or so, you could hardly smell it. My husband worried that when the food began to decompose, there would be a terrible odor in our home. He also worried the food would attract ants and mice. He questioned my sanity.

NOPE, no worries at all. My Happy Meal is one year old today and it looks pretty good. It NEVER smelled bad. The food did NOT decompose. It did NOT get moldy, at all.

This morning, I took it off my shelf to take a birthday photo. The first year is always a milestone. I gave it one of my world famous Nonna hugs as we’ve been office mates for a year now!

…Because Colorado has an arid climate, over the year the moisture has been slowly pulled from the Happy Meal. The bread is crusty and if you look closely, you will see a crack across the top. The hamburger has shrunk a bit and still resembles a hockey puck. Yet, the French fries look yummy enough to eat. I never had an odor problem, after a couple of weeks, I couldn’t even smell the fries.

Picky eaters universally love junk foods. They won’t touch veggies and sometimes refuse to eat the food their moms prepare. Out of desperation, parents give in and purchase the food their picky eaters will eat…junk food.

The next time you’re tempted to purchase a Happy Meal for your child, think about these photos. Food is SUPPOSED to decompose, go bad and smell foul…eventually. When I was a kid, I remember our garbage pail for the left over food scraps was kept by our back door. After a couple of days, flies deposited their larvae (maggots) in the meat. When I would lift the lid, I would see the recently hatched maggots wiggling on the putrid mess. A fly never bothered to land on the tiny hamburger patty on my office shelf.

Food is broken down into it’s essential nutrients in our bodies and turned into fuel. Our children grow strong bodies, when they eat real food. Flies ignore a Happy Meal and microbes don’t decompose it, then your child’s body can’t properly metabolize it either. Now you know why it’s called “junk food.”

I think ants, mice and flies are smarter than people, because they weren’t fooled. They never touched the Happy Meal. Children shouldn’t either.

Restaurant Seeks Sous Chef – POSITION CLOSED, but for the haters…

This position has been filled, but never in my life have I ever received so much hate from a job posting, and I just want to make a few comments. The original posting remains below.

1) For all of those who wished me ill for being such a taker, bastard, and dumb ass for offering minimum wage, you’ll be pleased to know that I actually pay more than minimum. That was just a way to weed out all the people too proud to work at that wage. I want people who view their job as more than just a paycheck; that want to be part of something bigger. I take very good care of my crew and they are extremely loyal. And I am very proud to actually be creating jobs in this economy.

2) I anecdotally heard through the vine that I somehow offended the crews at F2F and Jory for saying they had nice six-figure kitchens. I don’t know how that ruffled feathers and as far as I’m concerned we’re all in this boat together, so good for you for being in sweet set-ups. I only wish I could be as well equipped as you.

3) For all of you that understood my ad and gave me great responses, including the people that commented on it even though they weren’t interested or qualified for the job, thanks for being part of a better culinary culture and wanting this valley to progress. Maybe I’ll send you all invites to our soft opening when we’re ready. Thanks!

The Original Posting:

I’m the chef/owner of a new start-up restaurant in Newberg aiming for “Affordable Fine Dining,” and am looking for a sous chef/assistant to help me in the kitchen. I’m putting together a small, tight knit staff that needs to work well together, so it is important that you have both awesome kitchen skills as well as the right personality to play nice in the sandbox.

First and foremost you must have a passion for fine food and wine, and secondly have an incredible work ethic and sense of efficiency, while at the same time not being a prima donna at all. I structure my kitchen as a team instead of assigned positions, so you’ll be expected to do a little of everything, from cleaning and dishes and garbage detail to prep and working the line for service.

You must be super reliable. You are part of a very small team and are not replaceable on short notice. If you have chronic car problems, get sick all the time, or can’t work an alarm clock, don’t reply to this ad.

A big part of the job is keeping me clean and organized. Not that I am a pig, but having someone working with me setting up my next task and finishing my last maximizes my productivity. At the same time you’ll also be expected to be able to think for yourself and work independently. You will be allowed to gravitate towards your strengths and be encouraged to learn new skills.

Speaking of learning, you’ll learn a lot. I’m a good teacher and have been doing this for a while. A couple of years with me beats $50,000 in student loans (and if you happen to already have those loans I’ll still be happy to consider you).

It’s all about the atmosphere. I run a calm yet pumping kitchen. No throwing, yelling, or screaming; no FOH/BOH battles; no panicking, freaking out, or otherwise losing it. Instead we are professional, focused, in good humor, and all working towards the same goal: putting out great food, satisfying our clients, having a good time, kicking ass, and making some money. We’re cool, in control, and have our shit together. Kindness, respect, and civility are the order of the day (except for the swearing like pirates part). Historically I have hired a statistically more significant number of women than men, for whatever that is worth.

You need to be somewhat local. If you are commuting from Vancouver or NoPo it’s probably not going to work out. I’m in Newberg.

No Vegetarians or Vegans. As far as I know I’m still legally allowed to discriminate against veggies, and if that offends you, you probably don’t want to work for me. And it’s not that I don’t like vegetables; I just can’t wrap my head around someone loving food and not eating tasty animals.

Unlike some of the restaurants that have opened in Yamhill county recently (F2F, Jory, etc.), I’m not working with an unlimited budget, so you won’t be working out of a pristine six-figure kitchen facility. But you’ll learn how to make a ghetto kitchen sing, which has some value.

The starting pay is minimum wage, with maybe a bit of an increase if you have some special skills. Yeah, all of the above expectations and minimum wage. I would love to pay my crew more, but I am unapologetically a start-up, and until I generate some income everyone works for minimum. Pay rates will increase when the economy improves. But, no kidding, we’re going to be really big in no time (and that is not naive exuberance talking). The current benefit package is free food and a bottomless bottle of Advil.

I’ve got a kick-ass waitstaff in place, and am ready to shore up my kitchen staff, and then we are ready to rock. If this tirade sounds anything like you, send me an appropriate response!

But in some New York restaurants, at least, the wages ain’t so hot either. From the NY State Dept. of Labor last month:

Comment from the FriendsEat blog:

The exploitation of restaurant workers is by no means confined to Brooklyn. There are roughly 200 million international migrants working globally, or three percent of the world’s population; the leisure and hospitality industry accounts for eleven percent of those workers. Some 4,000 workers are currently striking in Paris, among them are Africans, Sri Lankans and Asians; many work as chefs, assistant cooks, waiters, plongeurs, and dishwashers. While most of us face economic hardships, the global economy extracts a much harsher toll on the world’s poor.

And from the blog Working in the Shadows:

First of all, how fun must that day have been for DOL investigators? I would have gladly paid $100 for the opportunity to tag along and watch the faces of bosses drop as the government demanded that they open their books and interview their workers.

The story has gotten good coverage in the media, certainly helped by the fact that the sweatshop conditions were found in Park Slope. For non-New Yorkers, Park Slope has become one of those neighborhoods that is so easy to make fun of that it’s not worth the trouble. Stereotypes of residents include: progressive to the point of parody; chock full of artists/writers/people-who-hang-out-in-coffee-shops-at-11 am; and lots of parents obsessed with the latest in child rearing techniques. In a very diverse borough, it’s also noticeably not. It’s worth mentioning that many of the most ardent critics of Park Slope are suspiciously Park Slopeish themselves. For example, I’m noticeably not diverse and before getting a real job spent a decent amount of time fighting over table space for my laptop in coffee shops.

What might get lost in the story, and in my digression into the complicated psychology that can go into Park Slope bashing, is that the problem isn’t Park Slope. The DOL could have selected restaurants on the Upper East Side, Chelsea, Chinatown or Brooklyn Heights and found similar abuses. It’s not a Park Slope problem: the problem is the endemic abuse of dishwashers and delivery workers within the restaurant industry.

Of course, wages is only one issue for those who work in restaurants. Ever hear of Crazy Restaurant Owner Syndrome? Waiter Rant discusses the topic in light of the food fight going on between Gawker and a New York restaurant owner. The battle was joined when the web site posted a leaked email tirade tha the owner sent to his employees regarding their failure to collect customer email addresses. A sampling:

“WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES?!?!?! How many times do we have to tell you how important it is that you collect emails. Everytime we have a slow night and you make no money and you sit there bitching about how you make no money, remember its because youre f****** lazy motherf****ers. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY!!!!! ALL OF YOU, INCLUDING THE HOSTS!!!!

Waiter Rant describes these symptoms of Crazy Restaurant Owner Syndrome:

1. Extreme narcissism to the point of sociopathy
2. Delusions of grandeur
3. Extreme jealousy
4. Anger management issues
5. Persecution complex
6. An absolutist view of people
7. Total lack of empathy
8. Self-destructive behavior
9. Control freakiness
10. Dehumanizing staff

All in all, they may serve food, but it’s no picnic.

But many people, in their posts, also included their opinion on the type of people that are the best tippers.

So here ya go:

Florida Jews

The absolute best were the retired Jewish folks that lived in the area (South Beach). They were demanding as far as service requirements, but they were the absolute best tippers I have ever served. They were also the best in letting management know they had received good service.

African Americans

Maybe three out of my five best tips have come from blacks.

and

My best tips ever have come from blacks. One time this awesome group of black guys gave me a $60 tip on a $60 tab. We all hugged each other goodbye when they left.

but, and

The myth of the black man as a bad tipper in my experience is true… but black women are often my best tippers.

Muslims

My husband attests that Muslims are some of the best tippers. “Giving to those who have less than oneself” is a Pillar of Islam, so….I like that it doesn’t say “poor”, just “less”.

White men

The best tippers are middle aged white guys.

Construction workers

I worked at a local pub and the best tippers were always the construction workers. Maybe it was because I was young and pretty, and I served them cold beer.

Firemen and policemen

Best tippers: firemen and policemen, always. I love them.

and

The best tippers were the police – hands down. Tips were usually 50-100% for small orders, and 25% on larger ones.

Gay men

Hands down gay men are my favorite customers of all time. They are friendly, funny, and tip well if not generously.

and

Best tippers: Other Service Industry folks and gay men and women. Hands down. And Wiseguys.

and

Best tippers-gay men hands down.

Bikers

Best tippers? Bikers. I always have GREAT experiences with people who ride in on Harleys and are covered in leather. I fight to wait on them! They’re courteous, good natured, and usually very generous.

and

Best tippers, Hells Angels from Quebec when they would come through town on their way out west…you fight for those tables. Great guys and great tippers.

Truckers

I would have to say that the best tippers were truck drivers when I worked at a truck stop. The ones that hit on me a lot were the best tippers and if I teased them about it in front of their buddies I got really big tips. I guess it was entertainment for them. I mainly worked in the kitchen cooking.

Well-to-do couples

Best tippers I would say are upper middle class couples.

The inebriated

Drunks were my favorite customers, but in all fairness no one else liked them. I just treated them in my natural convivial way and they were, mostly, the best tippers.

Asian gamblers

I worked as a cocktail waitress in a casino for a decade. By far the best tippers were Asians.

The hopefully horny

The best tippers are men on dates who are convinced by the end of the meal that they will get laid.

Surprisingly, that doesn’t exhaust the list of perceived penurious people. Let the kvetching resume…

College kids

I have worked every type of venue from college bars to fine dining to clubs and held every position at these venues over the years. College kids seem to be fairly bad tippers if not out of sheer lack of money and genuine embarrassment because of the fact or simply due to not knowing at a young age how to tip.

The conceited

I worked as a waitress in a small town and the people who thought they were hot shit (and very demanding) always tipped the worst.

Salesmen

Salesmen. Motherf****ers never tipped when I was a parking valet, because they couldn’t expense valet tips and too cheap to pay out of pocket.

Academics

Academics. Overeducated people who generally don’t have that much money because they work at a college and thus get paid 75% market rate. So they make up for it by acting like they’re your intellectual superior. However, these Ph.Dickheads never seem to have common sense, so they come in on Friday night 45 minutes before their play is supposed to start, and then order a steak medium-well. And nothing builds confidence in your community of educators like waiting on a table of math teachers who can’t figure out how to split a check.

Multi-level marketers

Two friends who waited tables agreed that Amway and other multi-level marketing scheme salesmen are stingy bastards that frequently stiff the waitstaff. Oh, I guess they did give the “tip” to try selling Amway if they wanted to make more money.

Church people

The damned church people were the worst. Seriously, if you leave your server one of those cheezy tracts that are disguised as money, but are actually some bs about how your reward is in Heaven? You should be instantly struck dead.

Mexicans in Texas

Waiting tables in Texas for a long time, Mexican nationals were terrible tippers, for the most part. Like churchgoers, they were extremely needy but did not compensate for the hard work.

Black women

I have close to three years exp. delivering pizza, in E. Lansing, Mi. and Clearwater, Fl. My total tips, in three years, from black females is $1.58. The $.58 was only because I didn’t have any coins for change in my pocket, and she didn’t want to wait for me to go back down three flights of stairs to my car to get it.

This particular mother

My mom: white, middle class, middle aged, real estate agent and Christian Republican woman.

Australians

Aussies are consistently shit tippers hands down. I personally know quite a few of them and have had discussions with them on this topic. The ones I’ve talked to simply don’t understand tipping because it’s not a natural part of their culture. They feel waiters should be paid a decent wage, as they apparently are over there.

Dutch

The Dutch….I have been stiffed by these bastards so many times.

The entitled

In my experience the worst tippers I’ve ever gotten are entitled people. These are not necessarily people with money or white people or foreign people, they are simply the ones who were spoiled by their mommies and daddies into believing that *they* are the most important people in the world and can do no wrong. So essentially: a good portion of the Baby Boomers and their progeny in Gen Y.

Australian Asians

Asians. As an Asian who lives in Australia, and who tips, I often find that I actually have to ASK/MAKE my fellow Asian diners to share the tip with me!

Gift-card holders

For my money (no pun intended) the people who deserve their own little special circle in hell are the f****ers who DON’T TIP ON THEIR TOTAL BILL WHEN THEY HAVE GIFT CARDS/CERTIFICATES, COUPONS, OR COMPS.

Lesbians

My experience is that lesbians are the worst tippers.

Good-looking women

I worked tin high-end establishments in NYC, 2 and three star restaurants. I worked both as a server and a bartender. These were places where you expected the big tips because our level of service was outstanding. As for the worst tippers, I can only point to two major categories: Attractive women in groups, and people (especially on Valentine’s or Mother’s Day) who generally don’t eat out or are eating beyond their means. Oh, and rich South Americans.

Gamblers

Gamblers. Not the high roller type. I mean the pull-tab and scratch-off addicted idiots who make weekly trips to the Indian casinos.

British

In a four diamond restaurant, I had the pleasure of having Brits with sunny dispositions, impressive food and wine knowlege (7 year old kids ordering foie gras? Sweet!), leaving $500 on a $495 bill.

Thousand Island dressing lovers

Where I worked, we could generally foretell the tip we were going to get by the salad dressing they ordered. If they ordered blue cheese or the house dressing, we could expect 20%. If the ordered 1000 Island, 10% or less.

Alabamans

To the best of my memory, I have never once received a decent tip from an Alabaman. 5-10% is the norm.

Red Hat Society members

How about the ladies from the Red Hat Society? Any one had to deal with them?? Split checks all the way around. Or the woman’s book clubs? They’re really special.

Canadian Chinese

I’m a Canadian server working in an Asian neighborhood and find that Chinese residents are almost exactly on the 10% mark all the time (ie if the bill is 31.25 they will leave 3.12) so at least I can rely on that tip.

Tourists

Tourists. (Non-metropolitan and European are the worst. Especially the British!). I don’t care what your own tipping practices are. When you come to NYC you tip your waiter 20% for good service, and your coat check person AT LEAST 1$ per ITEM (no only per ticket). Why are so many people ridiculously cheap when it comes to coat check? Most high end restaurants don’t have a station. Guests should know that the coat check people depend on tips as much as the servers.

Creepos

I am a server and I have noticed that sleazy, flirtatious men in groups of 2 or more tip poorly. They speak somewhat condescendingly, ask if I have a boyfriend, follow up with something along the lines of “he doesn’t deserve you…”, and then stick it to me with a 12% tip.

Professionals

I work in an upscale Italian restaurant in Bucks County, PA and in my experience the worst tippers are: Doctors, Lawyers, Business men using their corporate credit cards (GE employees to be more specific), Teachers and women. As for, Black people they are not all bad, I have gotten some really good tips from them. I feel like I need to go back to the business men with corporate credit cards, if their company won’t let them tip more than 15% these guys really need to reach into their own pockets and tip to make up the difference. It’s not like you didn’t just eat for free anyway.

Nurses

I moved from a big city, 900,000. There, the worst tippers were nurses.

Americans

As a Canadian, the worst for me is Americans because they will leave a US dollar and grin at me like it’s a fifty dollar bill. Our dollar isn’t that weak anymore!

Everyone

1-Foreigners
2-Inmigrants
3-Teenagers
4-Orthodox Jews
5-Tourists
6-Seniors citizens
7-Students
8-Europeans
9-Rednecks
10-Ethnics groups
11-Church folks
12-Goverment workers
13-Farmers
14-Intoxicated customers
15-White collars workers
16-Early birds customers
17-Families with children
18-Brunch customers
19-Sports fans

A recent posting on the blog Waiter Rant asked waiters and waitresses which people they considered to be the worst at doling out an adequate gratuity. The post has thus far elicited 260 responses and the answers are bound to offend anyone and everyone. Except for maybe gay men, whom multiple people designated as the best tippers.

Some random answers to “Who are the worst tippers?”

Canadians

Canadians! In New Orleans, many restaurants add gratuity to foreigners. Usually, this is only to foreigners that don’t speak English well. We can’t grat Brits, Aussies, Kiwis or Canadians. Western European countries have come a long way in the past 20 years, but not the Canadians. Occasionally, I’ll get a good tip, but usually it’s 10%.

Middle-aged blue-collar guys

Well I’d have to say the worst tippers on the whole in my experience were middle aged guys who looked like they were in their 40s or 50s and probably blue collar workers. For whatever reason I always seemed to be lucky to get 15% from them, while ladies around the same age tended to leave me 18%-20% on average.

Scandinavians

Scandinavians. Used to wait on a group of SAS pilots every Sunday in Minneapolis, and I think they gave me 5% or so on average. Maybe three out of my five best tips have come from black people, and I’ve had ladies who lunch leave me 100% before. But the Scandinavians have always screwed me.

Brazilians

In my experience working right off of Disney property (Orlando) the last three years the worst by far are the Brazilians.

Women in groups

I used to work as a glorified busboy in a buffet-style restaurant, where you paid up front, so I only got tips in cash, usually a buck a table. In my several years of experience working this job I found that groups of three or more women almost never left a tip of any kind. Either they didn’t carry cash (a possibility), or perhaps felt awkward pulling out their wallets in front of the other women. Maybe it would have embarrassed those who didn’t tip or some other silly notion of social propriety. Groups of men (a much rarer breed in a buffet restaurant) averaged two to three bucks, suggesting that the social pressure for men is to follow suit and drop cash (and I have a hunch that men are more likely to carry loose cash instead of just plastic).

Baptists

Man, the church crowd. We would practically kill to not work Sunday mornings/Wednesday nights after the baptists got out of church.

The uneducated working-class

Black, white, whatever, the worst tippers were always working-class people who didn’t seem to have a lot of education. Older people and Jewish people of a certain age were high-maintenance, but not necessarily sucky tippers. Foreigners visiting this country sucked, but it’s sort of not their fault and the British were always so nice that I couldn’t get too angry.

Senior citizens

Old people. My Mom was a waitress in a sushi bar in a tourist town here in California and she’d bitch about the old people who gave crap tips. Then insult to injury, she’d deal with a family of old people who left a dollar or two on a $40+ bill. She’d slip a decent amount to the wait staff before she left the establishment. And Koreans from Korea. They don’t get the tip thing either.

African Americans

The consistenly worst tippers I had were black people. Granted, I live in Atlanta where the majority of the population is black. Maybe it’s just a numbers game.

Elderly country club women

I waited tables in college at a country club in a small town, and the older ladies who lunched were the worst tippers of that crowd ($1 tip no matter what they ordered). The older men were definitely better — probably because they wanted to show off in a crowd. My husband waited tables for several years in Chicago and Joliet and he reiterated the point about church goers and black men generally being bad tippers. He did say that gay men tended to be really good tippers…

Recovering cocaine addicts

COCAINE ANONYMOUS! Used to come into a glorfied coffee shop where I worked in my much younger days, friggin’ squat forEVER, MOVE TABLES AROUND to better suit their needs, act like they’re better than you because you’re a server and they’re — what? Clean today? Snap your fingers at me again, you won’t have a working nose to snort up ANYTHING…problem friggin’ solved. You’re welcome.

I got out of the business when I was to the point where I was accidentally saying that kind of stuff out loud. Like, “WHERE’S MY BREAD?” was met with a dead stare and “Your bread is in the oven. Cooking. You want me to go get it? I’ll be happy to bring it out to you in the shape it’s in now. No problem.” So yeah…it was time to get out.

Gushers

The ones who totally stiffed me or left 5% – were the ones who gushed about what great service I provided and what a wonderful waitress I was, sometimes interspersed with a comment or two about how broke they were.

The good tippers let their cash do the talking and didn’t feel compelled to waste my time telling me I was the best waitress they’d ever had.

Indians

I have to agree on Indians as the worst tippers in the world. At one point of my 8-year-career as a waiter I have worked in upscale French-Indian restaurant. We had a lot of Indian patrons, a lot of them from Silicon Valley, and I can tell you that the best you can hope for is 15%. I’m not talking about Indian tourists, for whom is very common to round up a bill from $97.56 to a hundred.

Non-smokers

This is very old as I’ve been working in places other than restaurants since early 1992, but when I was there, the ardent non-smokers – those who complained if they could so much as see the smoking section – were the worst. In the normal sections, it was easy to average over 15% after tipouts to bar, busser, etc.; but in non-smoking maybe 12% at the most.

Bargain-seekers

At my resturant we have a $5 lunch specials. ANYONE that comes for that is a terrible tipper. Also getting $12 off your birthday meal does not mean that you don’t have to include that into your tip. I dont f****** care if it’s your goddamn birthday

Early-birds

The “Early Birds” hands down. They come in for cheap food & cheap entertainment because they are cheap! Unfortunately there is no categorizing them because they have infiltrated all social, ethnic and religious groups. It’s like they’re undercover or something.

Adults with teenagers

My first waitress job was in the teeny-tiny town I grew up in, and while we got some tourist trade, most of the customers were people I’d known my whole life. Most were decent tippers but the worst were the ones with kids my age. it was like I was stealing the money directly from their teenager’s social life by working my butt off on weekends.

Teachers

The worst by far? Teachers. A lot of them seem to hate their lives, so they go out of their way to be demanding, high maintenance and then don’t tip. That or young couples who are still paying off student loans…

Upper middle-class baby boomers

In my experience it is the upper middle class 40 & 50 somethings that don’t tip well. They leave the lowest amount possible while not being outright rude, no matter how good the service is.

True, some other groups (poor & elderly) often don’t leave generous tips. But they leave what they can and make up for their lack of funds with kindness. The above mentioned have no excuse.

NBA players

NBA players. I worked as a valet in college, and was stiffed by both Kevin Johnson (now our mayor) and Bill Cartwright.

Japanese

I work in an authentic Japanese place, and the worst tippers are, by far, the Japanese. We get a mix of about 50/50 Japanese/not. I suppose it’s normal to stiff in Japan, and some people just haven’t bothered to learn societal norms. I usually don’t hold it against them if they appear very new – when you’re new to a country, you have better things to figure out first. I get it. But when someone seems like they’ve been in the country awhile and have a good grip on the culture and they still stiff, I get cranky.

French

The French, in my experience, are the worst tippers!

Europeans especially the French

Europeans, I hate you, especially the French. Don’t get me wrong! I love and appreciate the culture, the philosophy, the food and the fashion. But you can’t claim to be sophisticated and continue to plead ignorance of tipping customs. The Irish were the exception, as I always found them to be fun and friendly.

Jehovah’s Witnesses

I’ve been a waitress for over ten years in a small town in Indiana, and by far the worst tippers are Jehovah’s Witnesses. They leave no tip at all, no matter how high the bill. My fiance is a former Witness, and he noticed it every time he went to dinner with his family. I even knew some of them by name and would have friendly conversations with them, and they would still stiff me.

Old white people

The worst tips came from old white people. I saw a 60-70 year old guy drop a quarter on the table for a tip once. Both my husband’s and my grandparents think that a 10% tip is standard and that you don’t have to tip at a buffet-style restaurant.

Elected officials

I, too, am a recovering waiter. my consistently worst tippers were municipal elected officials: judges, councilmen, supervisors and mayors. This held true in four cities over a ten year period.

Kids

I worked in a Chinese restaurant- the worst tippers by far were kids. Most of them were friends with each other and none of them tipped. Maybe occasionally there’d be a few cents left over in change that they wouldn’t bother taking, but we’d just shove those right back in the cash drawer; no one likes change.

Public media supporters

NPR/PBS member card carriers are the worst tippers of all. The worst.

Best answer

My in-laws.